Now that the hiatus is over, and the girls are back to school, I have some time to consider the future of this blog, my project, and the direction of my life over the next few years.
This blog will continue to evolve. Currently it is a variety of things: A means of updating my distant family on events occurring here; a running documentary of my cancer treatment and recovery; a vehicle for displaying some of my woodworking projects; and a basic "stream of consciousness/short-attention-span" blog. I've gone through all the postings and applied labels to them (see the "label cloud" on the sidebar) so, for example, that with one click I can see all the blogs with a "cancer" label. In doing that I had a chance to read all my posts.
The cancer and wellness-related posts on the blog are providing good material for my book project. What started out as a guide for military cancer victims has evolved into a theme of "lifelong wellness after cancer". I'll continue to make blog entries based on chapter themes for the book. My target date for having a draft is probably in the 2012 timeframe - I want to see my own experience right up to the point when the doc says "yep, looks like you're in remission". That's typically 5 years but if I can make it to 2012 with no evidence of disease then I'll start the process of submission (or self-publish, or whatever-I just want to have a fully formed manuscript at that point). I feel like I really need to talk to more people who are young, active duty and diagnosed with cancer - mainly for the mental issues. People cope in radically different ways and I realize my own way, while it worked for me, will not work for everyone.
I'm working on my next set of military orders and having a difficult time. I don't want to get into details as it's a fluid situation, and at the very worst I can extend here for another 6 months. My detailer is being extremely understanding and really going the extra mile to help me out, so hopefully good things will come from it. Hard to believe that my next set of orders will likely be my last.
Beyond that? Still no clue. Kimo Greene (Sand Island Surf Designs) is retiring and selling his business. I told him if he can hold out for 3 years I'd take it! I'd love to run a shop like that and could fold some of my wood crafts into it as well (shadowboxes and the like). That's the dream...although the reality is probably the basic shirt-sleeve GS idiot job working for the Navy. There are a number of local businesses as well as state and federal entities I could see myself working for. I don't stress over it too much - I've got a pretty complete life as is, and all I really need to do is put the kids through school, so I'll find something and do it. Aside from running my own successful business, I can't think of anything that would be nearly as satisfying as being in the Navy, so it doesn't really matter.
Regarding my treatment, I've reached the post-game interviews. My scans and scopes are by-and-large over with; my checkups and bloodwork will be essentially annual at this point. With my chest port removed I'm now normal and healthy. The ostomy has become practically an afterthought and I don't even notice it most of the time. I'm a "low level vegetarian" - I don't eat red meat or pork, but still eat poultry and fish, along with more fruits and vegetables than before. I don't drink alcohol or soda - and strangely enough it has caused my taste buds to change, to the point that things like orange juice seem ridiculously sweet. I still run and swim, although I'll gladly surf, dive or windsurf and chock that up as my daily exercise. The strategy is working - I feel great and I'm convinced that I'm taking proper measures to minimize my risks of recurrence of the disease. Mentally, I think about recurrence infrequently. Most often it is a mental "what-if" exercise where I go through scenarios of how I'd deal with treatment again. I don't dwell on it - but I've accepted that seeing the elephant in the room once in a while is a normal and healthy part of dealing with the lifelong experience.
I'm fortunate that my mind is most often occupied with things smaller in scope than cancer and life after the Navy. I keep a mental 6-month roadmap for my kids that considers how they will grow in the next half-year, and the things that I must do with them before that time passes. That is translated into my work schedule, which if I plan enough in advance I can flex to ensure the odd days off that the girls have, I have off as well, so we can check those boxes. I also have a queue of projects - home imrpovement indoors and out, as well as my own woodworking crafts - to keep me engaged. I joke about watching football in the man-space but the truth is that on Sunday mornings I'm more likely to be out on the water or in the workshop than on my butt on the lanai.
I hope those of you that have found your way here will continue to read, and drop comments or e-mails. I'm always looking for suggestions and constructive criticisms, particularly with my writing (which is rather bland and one-dimensional...but I'm working on that).
Expect some good surfing vids soon - I've a number of new boards to shake out before the south swells go away, and with the girls in school I'll make some "me time".
